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AARYN

The walk back to the Tree City was quiet.

Elreth frowned distractedly almost the entire trip back—made slower because he and Apryl and Despyna couldn\'t shift to beasts. Tarkyn had tried to be subtle, claiming he had to take a different route home to get to the training grounds and speak with some of the guards, but Aaryn was certain it was mainly because the male wanted to run back as his lion which would take less than a third of the time. But he didn\'t want to make the shift in front of them.

Elia and Reth dropped behind the rest of them, disappearing into the trees when they got closer to the city in a way that made Aaryn pretty sure they were heading to the Weeping Tree.

Aaryn was going to offer to Gar that he could shift and get moving if he wanted to, but the male looked so stunned and distant, Aaryn wasn\'t sure he would want to. Maybe he needed the walk back to process everything that had happened.

His father apologizing and affirming him for what was essentially Elreth\'s War Chief.

It was an ancient title, one that hadn\'t been used in generations as far as Aaryn knew. But the role was what she\'d described—someone who was in leadership in the event they went to battle, and who would automatically take up the mantle of dominant if the King, or Queen, was killed. Historically the position would have been held by someone like Tarkyn, or even Reth. But Aaryn couldn\'t fault her choice.

He\'d known for a long time that Gar was capable of so much more than he was doing. He was just glad his brother had gotten to hear it directly from his father\'s mouth.

When they were still half an hour from the Tree City, Apryl and Despyna made their farewells and started off to the north towards the disformed training grounds, leaving Aaryn alone with Elreth and Gar. 

Gar suddenly turned to him, his brows high. "Did that really just happen?"

Aaryn smiled. "Definitely."

Gar shook his head. Aaryn clapped his shoulder.

Then Gar turned to Elreth. "You\'re crazy. No one\'s going to listen to me if you\'re gone. They all think I\'m a flake."

"No, Gar," Elreth said, her eyes not rising from the ground that she\'d been staring at since they left the portal clearing. "Anima have been trying to force you into leadership ever since you hit adolescence. It used to piss me off. Now I get it. I think."

Aaryn cut her a look. She was being a sister, not a Queen, and he wasn\'t certain that was what Gar needed just then.

But Gar snorted and shook his head. "Good to know I don\'t have to worry that things are going to change between us just because you\'ve decided to respect me."

"Respect you?" Elreth dragged her eyes up finally, but she was still frowning. "Who ever said I didn\'t respect you."

Gar and Aaryn both stared at her until she blinked and frowned harder.

"It wasn\'t an issue of respect, exactly," she said uneasily.

"I\'m not worried about it, El. I knew what I was doing. You saw what I wanted you to see."

"Why though?" she asked suddenly.

"Why what?"

"Why is that what you wanted me to see?"

Gar shrugged uncomfortably. "I guess because it meant I didn\'t have to answer any questions or… no one would be watching if I screwed up."

"Careful or I\'ll start thinking you really were trying to avoid accountability," Elreth said dryly.

Gar chewed on that for a minute. "I guess I was. But not for the reasons you\'d think," he said. Aaryn wanted to hug the guy. He looked so shaky and stunned. Like his whole world had been turned upside down.

Then Aaryn realized that must have been how he looked when Elreth first told him she wanted him. A combination of joy and thrill, and sheer terror.

Turned out getting what you\'d always wanted wasn\'t without its pressures.

"So, what were the reasons then?" Elreth asked. "I mean, now that I see what you do and why… I always knew you had a good heart, Gar, but for so long it seemed like you were determined to destroy yourself—and anyone else who got too close. I don\'t get it. If you knew you were doing something we\'d appreciate, why wouldn\'t you just tell us? I would have looked closer. I would have stood up for you with dad."

At the mention of their father, Gar got very uncomfortable, rolling his shoulders and breathing deeper. "I don\'t know, El. When I first started I had to keep everything a secret. And by the time I realized I could at least let you know I wasn\'t just partying, it was too hard to figure out how to bring up. And if you and Dad weren\'t looking, then there was no chance I was going to be the one who accidently let the secret slip. Plus, like I said, it took the pressure off. If I failed, at least no one got their hopes up."

Then Elreth stopped walking and turned to face her brother, who pulled up short as well. Aaryn let the two of them face off and tried to stay out of it. This was a conversation he\'d been wishing for them to have for years.

"See, that\'s the thing I don\'t understand," Elreth said, folding her arms defensively. "If you\'ve been so strong and so willing to work all this time, how can you believe you\'re so… dispensable? I\'ve seen you be self-destructive for years, Gar. I\'ve seen you pick fights with dad, break promises on purpose—and now it turns out this whole time you\'ve been saying you needed to be the one in danger because it didn\'t matter if you died? It mattered, Gar! Even if you were that reckless, stupid kid, it would still have mattered."

Gar scratched the back of his neck. "I didn\'t mean it didn\'t matter at all. I just meant… it wasn\'t as important as other—"

"Bullshit! Can you imagine what would have happened to Dad if you\'d died and then he found out that all this time you\'d been doing this courageous, selfless thing, and he didn\'t know? Or if Mom had had to carry that secret because it wasn\'t time to reveal the prophecy yet? You would have killed them, Gar! Even if Dad\'s mad, even if he\'s disappointed he still loves you. It would have killed him to lose you."

"Not as much as it would have killed him to lose you," Gar said sullenly.