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Chapter 283 - I Will Hurt You

Drayce did not feel any pain at all. It could barely count as a scratch for him, but the moment he felt her hand weakly pushing him away, he understood it was time for him to let her go. Although he was enjoying the moment, Drayce knew that he could not afford to completely abandon himself to his desires. The whole time, he was being mindful of Seren\'s each and every action, the way her body responded to him, and the music of her enticing moans.

\'Am I kissing her too harshly for her liking?\' he wondered.

When he stopped and pulled his face away, his wife\'s heavy gasps filled the chamber, sounding like she was saved from being suffocated and she was trying to get as much air she could.

Drayce felt worried; he was already being careful, but it seemed he had miscalculated how demanding his actions must be for his delicate wife.

"Are you fine, my Queen?" he asked, not trying to hide the worry in his voice as he caressed her cheek. He moved his body a little to create more breathing space between them.

Seren could not respond to him as she felt dizzy because of the suffocation. She needed time to regain her strength. She could not feel her tongue to even answer him back. Unfortunately, due to the dark, Drayce could not see her face clearly, or else, he would have understood that there was nothing to worry about. At most, he could tell how physically demanding the kiss must have been for her as she did nothing but try to catch her breath, her chest heaving up and down.

Once her breathing returned to normal, Drayce gave out a sigh of relief after inwardly cursing himself for not being considerate to his delicate wife. He should have paid more attention to curbing his own desires!

This reminded him of what he had forgotten about himself for the past few days—the devil inside him. What if the devil came out and his hunger for her hurt her? What if his self-control slipped and something unexpected happened, causing him to go back on the words he had given the King of Abetha?

Drayce felt his chest tighten at the thought. He knew the chance of that happening was high. His fragile wife could not resist against him if he were to be taken over by the devil inside him. It seemed like he himself was one of the dangers that he must protect her from.

"My Queen, we should—"

Just as he thought of giving up on the plans they had for the night, Seren\'s low voice cut him off, "I am fine."

Perhaps it was due to the darkness, or it was the intimacy they had just shared, but Seren felt like she could strongly sense Drayce\'s rush of emotions. She could feel his worry for her, and she knew that he was also being considerate of her the whole time.

"You do not have to lie—"

"But Dray, I really am fine," she said, then added as an afterthought, "I just needed to breathe."

She was not lying when she said she was fine. Though things heated up unexpectedly between them, and the long kiss suffocated her, their kiss gave her good feelings—no, to be precise, she enjoyed it and wished to have more of it.

\'Dray!\'

Though she had called him by his name a few times already, there was always a tinge of hesitation in it, but this time, his name came out of her mouth so naturally, it caused Drayce to escape from his dark thoughts. He felt his name never sounded so good before. He looked into her glittering purple eyes that showed she truly meant her words. The flower mark on her forehead was still glittering lightly even after she almost suffocated. It made him think that she was expecting something from him, but he had already decided to stop here in the fear of hurting her.

\'I do not want to risk hurting her.\'

Seeing her husband not reacting, Seren stared into his red eyes in an attempt to read his thoughts. Now that Drayce had calmed down as well, his eyes had seemingly no emotion in them; the living flames they represented seemingly turned to red ice, as if his emotions were frozen as well, but she felt it was not the case.

\'Is he still worried about me?\' she thought. The look in those dull eyes felt painful to her, and not knowing what had gotten into her, she dared to move her hands towards his face. His face was cold to touch, the lines of his jaw sharp. She caressed his cheek as she spoke in a gentle yet firm voice.

"I am fine," she repeated.

Drayce froze at what Seren did. Like what she suspected, he was being silent because he was inwardly berating himself once more, fighting with his inner desire while worrying for the safety of his wife. One lapse of judgment, and he knew he would regret it. However, as Seren continued to caress his cheek gently and affectionately, his resolve started to falter. The way she looked at him and her gentle words showed she did not mind his actions. It was an act of affection towards a loved one.

\'Is she not scared? Does she think what I did was acceptable? I misjudged our situation!\' Drayce didn\'t know what to think of her sweet gesture. He was torn between the happiness of getting acceptance from her and the fear about the possibility of him hurting her.

"Are you sure?" he asked, still not feeling confident about himself.

"Yes," came the confident reply from her, and Drayce\'s eyes noticed the glitter in her flower mark getting stronger.

He regretted not being able to see her face. He wanted to see her expression when she was showing affection to him— how that willingness looked on her face when she wanted him. \'Is her willingness the effect of this flower and soul bond or is she accepting me for real?\'

Drayce closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to restrain what\'s going on inside him. He was confused and torn, yet he remained hopeful. He rested his forehead against hers as he spoke with his eyes still closed, "My Queen, will you promise me something?"

"Yes?" she asked, still caressing his cheeks.

Drayce moved his face back. "If you feel like I am about to hurt you, you have to stop me."

"I know you won\'t hurt me," she said simply. Her gentle words, her touch on his cheeks, both were full of affection that Drayce did not wish to turn her down.

"I will hurt you," he said softly. "Since I have hurt you once, it will likely happen again."

Seren remembered a particular memory of him once losing control. Though that time scared her, it was never repeated again. She also remembered Marie\'s words of encouragement about the things between a husband and wife. Recalling all the times she spent together with Drayce strengthened her confidence in him. "I know you won\'t deliberately hurt me, and that\'s enough."

\'Why? Why does she have to comfort me, to urge me to continue, when I am trying to stop? Has she forgotten how I had hurt her before? Has she forgotten the fear she showed me before? Is she not scared of pain? It would have been easy if she had pushed me away like before. This night is something I am looking forward to, but now that I realize my self-control is not as strong as I thought, I am scared for her. What if that devil comes out and I won\'t stop even if she tries to fight me off?\'

Seren was staring at him, perhaps trying to know why he was silent again. She relented to him, "I promise, if I feel you will hurt me, I will stop you."

\'Now, the main question is if I have the willpower to stop when she tells me to stop.\'