我的继坶我的性老师

Judges: Ulf/\'Steve\' Auctifer, Oditr, Titania, Mint

Criteria: Looks, Not-sand features, Structurally Sound, Creativity, Looks

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Kress sighed as he watched the scene before him. The argument had escalated despite Titania\'s attempts to calm things down and now Oditr and Auctifer were rolling around on the ground like they were five. Oditr was trying to pull Auctifer\'s hair out but it wasn\'t going well because he was keeping her hands at bay. Though she was still latched to the elf\'s face so he wasn\'t having a great time of it either. 

Titania was shaking her head off to the side… while sipping on a glass of wine? Kress wondered where she got it before the obvious answer hit him. *She\'s got wine in a storage ring. Duh.* Ulf was watching off to the side as well, with a grin on his face. Kress was pretty sure that if Thyme wasn\'t staring from behind Ulf\'s back the old man would\'ve been taking bets or something. 

Mint had moved over and was imitating Lily. Which meant she was hiding behind Kat and trying not to be noticed. The real Lily was currently in cat form nuzzling Mint\'s face and trying to calm the dryad down. "So… like… what are we supposed to do about this?" Kress whispered to Blue. 

"I have no idea! It\'s not like this is their full strength. There\'s no magic flying around, nor are there sonic booms from their overly strong punches this is just… literal play-fighting. Which still isn\'t a great thing to see two important rulers doing… but I suppose with Thyme here they feel safe to just… just… well do whatever this counts as?

"I\'m not sure why they think it\'s safe to go about something like this with an audience though. Even if it\'s safe for Thyme to know what about the rest of us? We could tell anyone! Sure we\'ve got some representation for everyone except the beastkin… but does that even matter?" 

"Eh not really," answered Titania. 

"Exactly," agreed Kress. Before freezing and turning his head slowly to see Titania sipping wine beside him. "Um… greetings your highness?" Blue was standing their frozen, unsure what to do. So Kress was hoping this would by a bit of time. 

"Ah don\'t worry about that nonsense, I\'m just a guest of Thyme\'s right now. Nobody else can see us by the way. I\'ve got an illusion up and running. Well, Thyme can probably see us despite that, but Thyme barely counts as an observer really. Considering they can observe just about anything on the continent, and probably the whole planet," said Titania, waving off the concern. 

*Ah yes, because the idea that Thyme is nearly omniscient is a great one.* Kress glanced at the still frozen Blue. "I feel as though I\'d like an elaboration on the whole \'can see everything\' bit you were just saying about Thyme," 

Titania shrugged and said, "It\'s just a guess but not a hard one to make. Thyme is connected to nature, and has spatial affinity. The idea that they can use a tree as a beacon for long distance scrying is an easy one to figure out. Plus, if that is technically outside of Thyme\'s capabilities… simply extending the root system of their main tree until another plant is part of the main body? Then that would surely work as a beacon.

"Now, normally, a fair counterpoint to that would be to point out that nobody can watch so many areas all at once… until you also take into account that Thyme has shown, on multiple occasions, to be able to control and operate over a hundred bodies seamlessly without any overlap between them. I know enough about how dryads control extra bodies to know that it\'s MUCH harder than it seems.

"I doubt Thyme can see into heavily warded areas of course. Not that Thyme couldn\'t get through them… but I\'m guessing Thyme would need to noticeably break through the wards. If that makes sense? At least, that\'s how I\'ve designed mine. A bit costly to replace them when they shatter, but not all that hard. Still… I do tend to imagine Thyme can hear and see me whenever I do something and the place I\'m in isn\'t warded," 

Titania finished that sentence with a slightly silly smile. Kress could almost figure out why, but his conscious mind kept shoving the answer back into the dark. Somehow, he instinctively knew he didn\'t want to know. So of course, Blue had just go and blurt it out. "You\'re just using Thyme to fuel your voyeurism fetish!"

Blue\'s hands slapped over her mouth as soon as she said the words. This was HER QUEEN she\'d just said that to. Titania grinned down at Blue with razor sharp teeth that definitely weren\'t there before. The atmosphere seemed to get colder and colder, as curls of fog transitioned into almost hand-like shapes that reached out, grasping for Blue… 

Until it all shattered and there Titania was laughing in place. "Oh you should\'ve seen your face..." laughed Titania. "Oh, that was great. I need to do that more often. To answer your question though… yes that\'s exactly what I\'m doing. It pisses Thyme off a bit actually, because I keep spreading the idea that they\'re always watching. That way more people think about it… and the weirder it gets for Thyme. It\'s a win-win for me really. 

"If Thyme isn\'t already doing this sort of thing? Not only does it allow me to get sexual gratification with almost zero effort, it also makes it a less appealing idea FOR Thyme. If everyone is already assuming you know everything, you don\'t actually need a surveillance network. Running one of those is a lot of work you see. I would know. So… Thyme is incentivised not to start one up. 

"On the other hand. If Thyme already has one up and running? Then by spreading this rumour, I\'m making it less effective. Not that I have anything against Thyme really. I love the dear and many of their quirks… but there is such a thing as too much power and I wonder if Thyme crossed that line a long time ago. If a lot of the madness and showmanship is to waste as much power as possible, or just to make them seem less powerful. 

"Sometimes I think Thyme would be better served taking their own vacation instead of providing one for everyone else," Titania was sighing there at the end. 

"So… how long are you four actually going to be here?" asked Kress with narrowed eyes. 

"A decent question… one with a few answers. We\'re only going to be HERE on this island for the one night. Though Thyme has set aside a little resort for royalty that allows us all to come and go. I\'ll probably be making use of it soon. Oditr might, but I doubt it. Auctifer will probably bring whatever parts of his harem can be spared the work. Old Steve…"

"I know he\'s Ulf," said Kress. 

Titania shrugged, "Look I\'m not confirming anything for you. If he WAS Ulf, and I\'m not saying he IS. But if he WAS, then revealing that fact would be very, very bad for someone like me who\'s a lot weaker then Ulf was even a few centuries ago. I shudder to think of how powerful he\'d be now if he tried. Regenerators don\'t really get weaker. Not once they figure out immortality," 

"Right… but if he WAS Ulf, would he have a place at the royalty resort?" asked Kress. 

"Hah, the \'Royalty Resort\' that\'s a good name for it. I\'ll have to suggest it to Thyme properly so they can pretend not to have overheard it. As for the answer… yes Ulf would have a place… and \'Steve\' probably has one on account of being an old friend of Thyme\'s," said Titania. 

"I feel like admitting he\'s an \'old friend\' of Thyme\'s is already pushing it considering Thyme\'s multiple century existence isn\'t really a secret… and Steve IS a human," said Kress. 

Titania shrugged again and said, "Look, I\'m confirming nothing so it\'s fine," 

"Right… well… how will it work for the beastkin?" asked Kress. 

"Urgh, I hate dealing with those guys. I wish they\'d just pick a fucking king or already. Or a queen. I\'m not picky. There way of doing things make it rather hard to get consistent policy from the lot of them. Oh they come up with good ideas sometimes, and those spreads… but it can be a massive pain trying to deal with them all. As for the resort? I don\'t know. Either Thyme will give them a separate one or they\'ll be on timeshare I guess? I\'ve seen the building, it\'s not large enough to fit everyone if all the beastkin representatives turn up,"

Titania continued, while mumbling under her breath, "Then again it\'s not like it\'s really big enough for Auctifer and the harem either but we\'re all ignoring that part," 

Kress looked over at Blue who had gone back to imitating an ice statue. He wasn\'t too worried just yet considering she was still breathing. So it was fine.