我的继坶我的性老师

Nixilei gave a small laugh behind her hand. “Oh, perhaps I could but I’m not so sure they’d be interesting. Green is a simple girl, and most of the amusing stories from her childhood involve her sleeping in places she really shouldn’t be sleeping. Though... well I suppose I could still share a few. She’s sleeping right now and can’t overhear us.

“Hmm... well, a personal favourite of mine is when some of her cousins decided to play a little prank on her. They even got permission from her parents to set the whole thing up. It was somewhat elaborate but also very simple in premise. They put her bed on a raft and let it float down the nearby river.

“They had a full team of guards, one of which was me, watching her the whole time and her mother was keeping an eye on things as well. I... I don’t know how they didn’t see this coming but eventually a low hanging tree branch smacked into Green and she shot up, looked around, realised she was in the middle of a river...

“And just pulled the covers up over her face and went right back to sleep. I might be a professional spy now, but I was much younger back then and I couldn’t help laughing. Everyone else was mortified, well, Mumma Green was laughing as well but I probably shouldn’t admit to that part. Everyone else started looking at us like we’d lost our minds...

“But seriously, what else did they think was going to happen? In the end they waited until she floated to the next town over and used a dockmaster’s hooked pole to pull the boat back in. When she finally woke up, after quite a lot of shaking, she just asks, ‘why are you waking me up? I was having a nice nap and it’s my day off lessons?’ so of course back to laughing I go.”

Kat was laughing throughout the story and managed to get a hold of herself a few moments after “You’re right I can’t believe they didn’t see that coming. Did anyone get in trouble for it?” asked Kat.

.....

Nixilei gave a shake of her head and said, “No they didn’t. Remember, it got approved beforehand so Green’s parents... if not approved at least allowed for it to happen. The head of the guard wasn’t exactly pleased but they don’t have the authority to punish anyone involved, not without Green’s parents stepping in and well... you see how it all circles back. With their permission it was all above board.

“That’s not to say the cousins didn’t get chewed out once they were back in their homes but I have no way of knowing if that happened or not so... I guess they all got away completely free of consequences,”

“Is there any other sleepy Green stories you feel like sharing? That one was great!” said Kat.

Nixilei tapped a finger to her chin a couple of times. “Hmm... I suppose I do have another. It was certainly less funny at the time. Ok. So it was a large gathering at Green’s estate. There was a number of important lords and ladies there as well as their heirs. I was posing as Green’s maid at the time. Of course I’m not a proper maid but I was trained in it, one of the better professions for a spy to know intimately.

“This was the first large gathering at Green’s estate in some time. Normally she was forced to attend them at other estates, or at the royal palace. So she was feeling pretty safe at the time. The first two rounds of food had come out, Green had eaten and then she decided she was safe enough to just... go to sleep. Now, she was at the heir’s table so while her parents could sort of look over it wasn’t terribly convenient and it wasn’t really done. The heirs were supposed to keep to themselves while the adults were speaking. Allow them a bit of freedom to mingle amongst themselves.

“So when Green lay down to sleep, it looked like, to a number of other heirs at least, that she’d just collapsed at the table. Nobody knew how to deal with that. Green was the only one effected so it wasn’t a case of everyone being poisoned... but it was also Green’s house, and while other servants were allowed in the kitchen, all the chefs were from Green’s family. So it was a massive shock that it was Green that collapsed. Of course, she was just asleep but nobody had worked this out yet.

“The servers then came in to take the plates back before returning with the next course. The same servant had been serving Green all night so she comes out to grab the plate and their Green is, collapsed on the table. I’ve never seen anyone lose blood so fast. She just sort of gazed out at everyone else with a ‘what the heck am I supposed to do’ look. I think the poor woman was afraid she was about to be executed.

“Eventually, seeing this, I took slight pity on them all and walked up from the walls and checked her breathing. Now, I wasn’t scared because unlike the others I was paying attention and saw her slowly fall asleep instead of just dropping. So I say ‘She’s just asleep,’ and head back to the wall watching over Green. Nobody knew what to do with my additional information.

“Things still weren’t good, nobody knew what was going on, eventually someone screamed... I can’t remember who it was off the top of my head. I know it was one of the heirs but not specifically which one. Anyway now the adults are concerned so they trundle over, Green’s father in the lead. He takes one look at Green, a second look at me, and just gives out the biggest sigh.

“I’m not sure you’ve ever seen it... but it’s just... it’s so clearly the sigh of someone who can’t believe they’re in this position and are so incredibly done with everything in that moment. So he just smacks Green across the back of the head and she slowly sits up and says, ‘Yes father?’ and I don’t think he knew how to answer that because he just walked away and Green went back to sleep. After that, nobody ever really cared if Green fell asleep somewhere. It just sort of became the done thing,”

Kat smiled at the imagined scene. “I wish I could say I was surprised but that does sound like something she’d do. Has she gotten worse over time? Actually wait now I phrase it like that I want to know if this is actually a health problem. Should we be concerned?”

Nixilei made a ‘so-so’ gesture, “As long as she gets enough exercise it’s no issue really. There’s nothing actually wrong with her, in fact, technically she’s got a unique skill. She can sleep more easily and for extended durations easily. She doesn’t NEED the extra sleep and she could work a full day like the rest of us if she wanted to... she just really likes sleep. Green can be a bit grumpy if she doesn’t get that...

“But her parents are hopeful she’ll grow out of that for the most part. It isn’t that she’s actually sleep deprived. It... I feel a little ungrateful to use this an example but it is the best one I can think about. She’s more like a child that just had their favourite toy put away by their parents. It’s annoying and grating but it certainly isn’t sleep deprivation. People are just used to sleep being something you have to need in order to get so they treat Green’s sleeping condition as a concern.

“They look at her like she’s not getting enough at night or something similar. It makes it really funny to watch all the lords and ladies trying not to wake her just in case this is the only chance she has to sleep properly for the day. It’s NOT the case at all, but nobody really wants to reveal the fact it’s just an odd quirk of Green rather then a bigger deal. Keeps people polite and...

“Well everyone knows not to bore Green with meetings. When Green has to sit in on something as part of her heir duties, the other party is always very careful to keep it entertaining or short. Everyone has the understanding that if Green considers listening to them a waste of time she’ll just go to sleep. Then they have to decide on waiting for her to wake up, or waking them up herself. I’m not sure if you can comprehend just how awkward that would be in polite society. It’s a surprisingly effective tactic and one of the main reasons Green’s parents haven’t tried to curb her behaviour in any meaningful way.”