YM778.TV Chapter 325: Irrational
Everyone but an overthinking woman.
«Hmm?» she heard.
She had no clothes covering her, which hinted enough. Nate was by her side, and she sighed in relief at his voice. One thing was sure: it was him!
But then... Was the rest real as well? It felt a little like a dream. She had opened her eyes in the darkness, waking up with the sudden fear that what she had done wasn\'t real. That she had dreamt about it all.
She trembled, her body invaded by the sudden, irrational fear. She wasn\'t even sure what had happened to her.
«This...» she said, touching her chest. No clothes, just as she thought. «This is real... It\'s not a dream. It\'s real!»
«Yes?» Nate murmured, moving his arm from her waist to her shoulder.
He woke up as well and found his mate trembling in fear. Her scent was covered by lust, but he could sense the turmoil underneath. Lara was sweating cold.
«Lara? What\'s going on?»
«I don\'t know, Nate. I... I don\'t know.»
«Hey, are you feeling unwell? Did I hurt you?»
«No...» she whined. She let his warmth guide her to his skin, and she hid in his embrace. She just wanted to disappear, but he was there to comfort her.
She wasn\'t alone.
«Is this the first time it has happened?»
«Yes... No, but this is the first... like this...»
«Breathe. Count slowly and breathe, in and out. Okay? Don\'t be afraid, I am here.»
His voice was worried, but his hands were delicate while rubbing her back. He was secretly happy that she was relying on him, but the most part of his being was worried sick. Was it a panic attack?
«One, two...» he murmured, slowing down the count to let her follow.
Lara\'s hands touched his chest, her nose rubbing on his skin. As her breathing calmed down, she returned to the real world.
«Nate,» she whispered.
«You\'re safe, Lara. I am here, and nothing is happening. You are safe.»
«Thank you, Nate.»
«Has this happened before?»
«I don\'t think so. Or maybe just a couple of times. But it wasn\'t like this, and it wasn\'t so sudden.»
«Would you like to tell me?» Nate said, pulling her closer. «Only if you want, of course, but I can listen.»
«I felt something similar, maybe... But it wasn\'t like this. And the twins would usually snuggle and play with me, distracting me. They learned to wag their tails to distract me, and it did pass after some time. I haven\'t felt like this in a year or so.»
«Panic attacks? How do they start? Did you have a nightmare or something?»
«I don\'t know, Nate. It just started.»
«And how often?»
«Not that often! Oh, actually... It would happen a few times in a short while and then only after months. It will pass.»
«I\'m worried. Are you sure it\'s not because of something I\'ve done?»
«No. At most, it\'s because of something I have done.»
«Do you want... to...» he started, but he couldn\'t finish the sentence. What kind of help could he offer? Lara might feel offended if he proposed to visit a psychologist. Yet, if she had recurrent panic attacks, even out of the blue and in the middle of the night...
«I\'m fine,» Lara said. «Just, I think we should slow down.»
«So, I was right. It\'s because of...»
«No. It\'s not because we had sex. What I mean is that we should slow down our relationship. Take some time to get used to how things are now, okay? Without moving forward for a while.»
«Okay. But you don\'t need to force yourself to do something you don\'t want to. If you want to stop, Lara, we can.»
«I don\'t want to,» she said, her voice broken. «I\'d like to proceed, really. To know you more, to start building common habits and act like a real family, but I can\'t right now. My body won\'t let me, apparently.»
She moved away from him, lying down on the mattress again. Yet, she found his hand and held it.
«It was not a mistake, Nate. I\'m just not ready yet. I\'m sorry.»
«I will wait.»
«I\'ll find a way to run faster then.»
«You don\'t have to. Even if you take forever and never decide to marry me, I will still wait. Not because I expect you to accept, but because I have decided for myself already.»
«Oh, Nate... Don\'t make it so difficult! Can\'t you be a little selfish or overbearing?»
«Sorry, I didn\'t know you liked that kind of man.»
«I don\'t, and that\'s the point! Don\'t be so likeable! It makes me feel guilty.»
«Sorry.»
«Oh...» she sighed, returning to his arms. «I am sorry for making you worry.»
«Why? It\'s not like you\'re doing it on purpose.»
«No, but I disturbed your sleep.»
«So what? We can sleep more now, right?»
«Are we good?»
«Of course.»
«I mean, even for... for slowing down? Do we agree? Am I forcing it on you?»
«No, Lara. It\'s okay. I wasn\'t going to bring you to the marriage office tomorrow either. I know we need time, both of us. This is just a step, nothing more.»
«Right, nothing more...»
She tried relaxing by sleeping, but her brain was still clouded by many thoughts. She had to visit Doctor Mason sooner than planned...
She had just had a panic attack, after all, and the doctor might have been able to help her. Or, at least, explain why it was happening.
She wanted to be stronger for her family, but it wasn\'t easy.
«Wait, Nate... We did have sex, right?»
«Right. Are you forgetting already?»
«No, no... I\'m just confused. I was, for a moment, when I woke up. I wasn\'t sure whether it was real or not. I was still sleeping, I guess.» She chuckled, even though awkwardly as if to make her words meaningless.
However, deep in her heart, she knew that it must have meant something. Doctor Mason would say she was hiding from something... Maybe?